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Elmbrook's Parent Network provides excellent programming for parents. Why learn by trial and error when you can have a free education from leading experts on issues of child development, parenting and communication?

Next up, we have a chance to learn about handling conflict, one of parenting's tougher challenges. Here are the details from the Parent Network announcement: 

The Elmbrook Parent Network is presenting a program titled “Perspectives on Conflict:  Handling Conflict More Effectively” on Thursday, November 6^th from 9:30-10:45 a.m. at Burleigh Elementary School in the Viking Room.  Our speaker will be Kathy Perccarelli, an instructor of Administrative Leadership at Alverno College.  Join us as we work in small groups to discuss conflict perceptions, determine conflict management styles, develop effective communication skills, and learn strategies for effective conflict management.  Childcare will be provided.  Thank you and we look forward in seeing you on November 6^th.

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Having a high school senior has me nagging more than usual. Usual would be, "Have you finished your homework yet?" With a senior, it's "Have  you finished your homework and college applications yet?" But yesterday, with no prompting from me, my senior, Aisha, appeared from her room with a short stack of information for teachers from whom she will ask for recommendations.

"Tomorrow's Post-High School Planning Day. I need to have applications ready to fill out," she says, then retreats into her room to begin her computer search for forms.

Today Brookfield East High School is hosting its first Testing and Post-High School Planning Day and, frankly, I appreciate the help. With the demands of work, household chores and driving carpools, I feel proud on the occasions we have managed to provide our children with a hot meal and clean clothes.

It's not that I expect the schools to do it all for us. As journalist Clarence Page of Chicago once said, it is sad that so many of us feel we must neglect our children in order to make enough money to raise them. But, the fact is, in these uncertain financial times, many of us do. I for one feel like in the short time I see my children every day, too much of it is spent nagging. "Did you do your homework? Did you brush your teeth?"

The idea for the BEHS Testing and Post-High School Planning Day "grew out of our school's goal to improve all students' ability to gain access to and experience success in appropriate post-secondary pursuits," says BEHS principal Brett Bowers, in a letter to parents. While underclassmen are taking tests to prepare them for college entrance exams, seniors will work on college applications and essays, practice interviews and hear guest speakers talk about college planning and college life.

Thanks, BEHS! I don't expect you to help my daughter make all her decisions about college, but I am grateful for the input. Together we will do a much better job of preparing her than if it were left to her parents alone.

Dear Michael Sereno,

I'm sorry I didn't stop by to meet you, our children's new principal, during Pilgrim Park Middle School's registration.I received your invitation via a Parent Link phone call and I want you to know I appreciated you making yourself available, even though I didn't stop by.

I glanced back at the library as my son Adam and I hurried down the corridor to see the list of students in his house. I saw you sitting there, but I didn't see any other parents talking with you. I'm not sure if other parents came by; I hope they did. But if they didn't, I hope you won't interpret it as a lack of interest. I suspect that like me, they were keeping up with a child with his or her own agenda or rushing through the registration stations in order to be on time pick up an older sibling from high school sports or some other of our multiple parental tasks.

Thanks also for your enthusiastic letter to parents. I'm glad to hear you are excited about your new position and pleased you are eager to meet us. Please keep on reaching out. Even when we don't show up, your efforts set the tone and create opportunities for more communication. I know I'm speaking for many others when I say it is very appreciated.

All the best,

Sandra

I missed the first Friends of the Brookfield Library Book Sale Saturday because of a tip.  A gentleman saw me browsing in a favorite half-price book store and told me about a huge book sale that helps feed the hungry - The Great Hunger Book Sale, put on by the congregation at All Saint's Cathedral, 818 E. Juneau Ave., Milwaukee. The sale continues through Tuesday, 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. daily, and prices go down each day.

Proceeds from the Great Hunger Book Sale go to organizations feeding greater Milwaukee's hungry: Interchange Food Pantry, The Gathering, St. Ben's Community Meal, Hunger Task Force and Second Harvest of Wisconsin. They also provide funding for food-related services at Our Next Generation, Sojourner Truth House, Milwaukee AIDS Project, Salvation Army, Ecumenical Refugee Council and Episcopal Relief and Development. If you're wondering how they can possibly make any significant contribution to so many different organizations, all you have to do is take a look. The fellowship hall and all adjoining rooms are filled to the brim with books, all organized by genre.

I was stocking up on literature classics for a daughter who plans to major in English or Creative Writing in college, as well as selecting books by my favorite authors. A helpful staff showed me around and provided me with a box for my purchases.

Today already low-priced books are half price. Monday they go to one third the price. On Tuesday, from 11 a.m. - 3 p.m., hard cover books are 50 cents and paperbacks are 25 cents. From 3 p.m. - 6 p.m. on Tuesday, they're selling by the bag or box. Although I was there before all the discounts began, I felt good about my purchase. It was still a deal for me and for a good cause.

I plan to check out our Brookfield Library Book Sale in the Brookfield Senior Center next Saturday morning. It runs every Saturday morning in August. Supporting our library is also a great cause, and English majors always need books.

Wisconsin State Fair kicks off today. When I pass State Fair Park on my drive home from downtown and see all the carnival rides, I feel it is the beginning of the end, the end of summer, that is. It seems like no time at all between the opening of the State Fair and the beginning of school, when life's already fast pace picks up considerably.

Today is also the last day of summer school for Elmbrook School District students. For them, the beginning of a long-awaited, rather short break from books, test and study is at hand.

August seems to be the perfect time to stop for a moment, take a deep breath and enjoy summer. Whether it's a lunch break from work outside in the sun with a favorite book or a visit to the State Fair or Fox Brook Park, or a weekend camping with the family, the time to do it is now.

If you want to get started, admission to the State Fair is just $2  plus two unperishable food items today until 6 pm.

I know it's mid-July, but the minds are turning back to school. Back-to-school shopping catalogs have arrived and the Parent Network emails are flying as the organization that brings wonderful educational programs to Brookfield and Elm Grove parents finalizes its plans for the 2008-2009 school year.

I recently caught a glimpse of the kick off flyer and am excited about the learning opportunities coming our way. The Sept. 30th kick-off event brings Brookfield parents' favorite Dr. Brian Fidlin back to talk about "Wellness: Parenting the Mind, Body and Spirit." Dr. Fidlin is an assistant professor of pediatrics at the Medical College of Wisconsin. Anyone who has heard him will tell you that he shares a wealth of information parents benefit from hearing.

 Topics for the rest of the school year: character development, study skills, talking to kids about sex and body image & sex.

Thanks Parent Network for the work you do throughout the summer to bring us a school year of learning for parents!

I'm looking forward to the March 11th Parent Network program, The Anatonomy of the Teenage Brain ...Why teens think,say and do what they do. I asked my 16-year-old daughter Aisha what she thought about that title and she said, "Well, I hope teenagers are presenting, because adults won't get it right."

"But it's not just any adult," I told her. "It's Dr. Brian Fidlin." Dr. Fidlin has been enlightening Brookfield parents annually ever since he debuted at a Parent Network program three years ago and amazed us by knowing practically everything about teen drug usage in Brookfield - where they get drugs, who uses and the risks and social pressures they face when they want to stop.

So if anyone can tell us what teenagers think and why, it will be Dr. Fidlin. 

For all of us who need help understanding how teens think, Dr. Fidlin will speak in the cafeteria at Brookfield East High School from 7 pm - 9 pm, Tuesday, March 11. RSVPs are not required, but are appreciated. RSVP to ParentNetwork@elmbrookschools.org.

Tim Dotson of Brookfield was chosen by his classmates to speak at Marquette University’s College of Professional Studies’ winter graduation ceremony. As Tim told the audience, just being there was quite the honor. Finally, he and his fellow classmates could say, “We did it!”

The graduating class in Marquette’s College of Professional Studies is always made up of hard working adult students who are pursuing their degrees under the most difficult circumstances. All of them returned to school when they already have a life full of responsibilities – fulltime jobs, families, aging parents, the gamut of duties adults experience in the prime of life. For a variety of reasons, they reached this point without completing their college degree.

 To a person, they are wonderfully accomplished, yet they feel they are missing something. These dedicated graduates have spent their Saturdays and evenings in the classroom and much of their free time with their books. Tim spoke of sacrifice of missing special moments in his daughter’s life – seeing her in the Christmas Parade, birthday parties. And he talked of his appreciation for his wife. Like military spouses, the husbands and wives of adult students learn how to manage on their own.

 As a teacher in the College of Professional Studies, I had the joy of seeing Tim and other CPS students realize abilities they didn’t know they had. For example, while Tim brought with him a wealth of talents – an ear for music (a talent he shares with his church), an eye for architecture, knowledge of computer programming – he has now developed as a writer with diverse interests. You can read his views on public policy and local happenings in his community blog in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. He developed his ability to research and to contemplate. He has probably always had deep thoughts, but being in school made him dig them out.

 So Tim, and your fellow adult students everywhere, I salute you. You did it!

With this recent cold snap, I suspect the last leaf will fall and leave us with free weekends just in time for the holidays. I hate to complain, but I wonder if our independent hauling of leaves and yard debris is the most efficient and cost effective option. One of the best things about living in Brookfield is our relatively low property taxes. And, yes, more municipal services means higher taxes. But how we could possibly save money by individually loading up a trailer or a pickup and driving our own yard wastes to the dump? Brookfield is the first community in which I've lived where hauling leaves was an individual property owner's responsibility. I remember how nice it was to rake my leaves to the edge of my Wauwatosa lawn. No bagging, loading or hauling. They would soon be carried away by a city truck. Without even considering our time, wouldn't we be able to save money on gas and wear to our vehicles by taking advantage of an economy of scale (one of the few terms I remember from college economics). Add in the value of our collective time spent bagging and hauling, and even at minimum wage, we're talking big bucks here. Wouldn't we come out ahead if we raked our leaves to the edge of our front lawns for the city to pick up? If I'm wrong, would someone please explain this to me?

I make Labor Day resolutions. I know it’s traditional to make New Year’s resolutions, that the turning of the calendar to a new year provides a symbolic fresh start. But that seems rather arbitrary.

 

As a parent, I find that Labor Day marks a real fresh start. Our children have new teachers, new classes and sometimes new schools. They are on new teams or in new school clubs. Our children’s new school year marks a new beginning for us parents and I plan to make the most of it. Here’s how:

 My Labor Day Resolutions

1. I resolve to get to know my children’s teachers and communicate frequently.
2. I resolve to find a place to be a useful volunteer in my children’s schools.
3. I resolve to have family dinner at least three times a week, in spite of the children’s soccer practice, tennis practice and piano lessons, and my sometimes long work days.
4. I resolve to establish a new evening routine with quiet time  for homework and reading.
5. I resolve to participate in carpools, and by “participate” I mean to get to know the other parents who share the driving and let them know how very much I appreciate them.
6. I resolve to make all of Adam’s soccer games and Aisha’s tennis matches, school plays, and chorus performances that I possibly can, and while I’m there to connect with other parents in celebrating our kids. Those opportunities don’t come again.

  

 

 

Okay, my headline sounds a bit dated, but so is the reason Pilgrim Park sixth grade teachers rock – in fact, it's medieval.

Every year since I have lived in Brookfield, going on nine years, I’ve heard rumors that Pilgrim Park’s big event, the Medieval Festival, is about to become a thing of the past. And I mean extinct.

It is easy to see why the elaborate festival that includes costumes for students, teachers, staff and parents, a banquet fit for King Arthur, leather work, sewing, jesters and a visit from the royal court is more work than any master craftsmen should face. But what a glorious event! It's ranked right at the top of my children's experiences of their school years.

Teachers put in months of preparation, both in teaching our children about the Middle Ages and working with parents to prepare for the big event. (My son Adam informed me that the conquistador helmut I bought him was from the wrong historical era; that he needed knight’s armour from no later than the 15th century. Under Ms. Ingram’s tutelage, he has become quite an historian!)

I imagine that each fall, as the teachers look forward to the upcoming school year, preparing for the Medieval Festival looks like a marathon to run. I am grateful that all three of my children have benefitted from teachers willing to run the race.

I found the appropriate armour for Adam at Marge’s Costume Shop on Greenfield ($35 rental). When the queen entered the royal hall, she spotted my young knight (who asked me to be his squire) and walked straight towards him. “Sir Knight, arise,” she said. He lifted his hand and that of a young lady in waiting. The queen asked him to escort her and taught him proper manners for a knight. While he probably would have preferred to joust, Adam and his classmates felt like they were staring in A Knight’s Tale, playing a once-in-a-life-time role.

Going all out to put on such an elaborate event is a huge undertaking and especially difficult in our busy times. I will be forever grateful for the teachers, volunteer parents, and the gallant Mr. Galster for making the effort. I hope they find the stamina and courage to make this unique experience possible for sixth graders for many years to come.

The next Board of Education meeting is April 17th and the discussion on what to do about our high schools should continue. I asked Laura Schmidt, who has closely followed this issue and had been supportive of the referendum, what's next? Here's what Laura had to say:

""We are a community with an asset that is deteriorating. The referendum was not what was originally recommended, but rather a compromise developed with a great amount of community input over a six-year period. Regardless, it is obvious the compromise needs to be greater so that the price tag on the next referendum is significantly smaller.

"Perhaps the assumptions used to develop the proposal were flawed. If they were accurate, we would have seen majority support for the referendum which would have concurrently addressed the needs at both schools with a long term solution that addressed not only mechanical, accessibility and safety issues but the need for curricular improvements as well. Or perhaps the community is looking for a staged implementation that will spread the financial burden out over a longer period of time.

"One thing we do know is that the needs at our high schools are not going to go away. My hope is that those who opposed this referendum will become engaged in a positive way by better understanding the needs at both schools and respectfully providing input to help the District develop an alternative solution.

"Defining needs vs. wants is a critical issue. Many believe that this is analogous to deciding between a short-or long-term solution. This is not the case. It simply does not make sense to go into the walls to replace mechanicals that will be with us for 25 or more years when we already know that walls need to be moved (or replaced) to safely accommodate the students we already have and the new curriculum we are trying to support in an effort to remain competitive.

"Defining how much work is done at each school is also a critical issue. There has been a great deal of community input indicating that a referendum that does not concurrently address the needs at both schools in an equivalent manner will not be successful. This assumption may need to be challenged as many other communities have been successful at passing referendums that addressed the needs at multiple schools along different timelines."

Laura asked that we encourage readers to "please be engaged in a positive way to assist the District in developing an alternative proposal that the community can support."

Additional information can be found on the district’s web site at www.elmbrookschools.org.

Today at the voting sites, there was an exit poll that asked voters to identify the main reason they voted as they did. I checked that I had voted Yes on the high school referendum because I felt children's education would be enhanced by improved facilities. I believe that by doing what we can to strengthen our children's education is the best investment we can make for the good of our community.

Of course, there are a lot of "ifs."
If enhancements to the facilities are utilized to improve education;
If we teach our children a sense of responsibility to the community, so that their education will be put to good use;
If we all feel a sense of responsibility for each other.

Unfortunately, this referendum created a false dichotomy between the needs of students and the needs of seniors and retirees. We need both educated children and a tax burden that won't prohibit retirees from living in the community they love. There must be other options than robbing Peter to pay Paul.

However it turns out, the lesson for me is that we are all in this together.

As a taxpayer who has enough trouble making ends meet, I feel I need to know the expense to revamp our high schools is really necessary. I have to admit, I have seen the need for some work on our high schools ever since my first visit to Brookfield East to meet the teachers back when my now freshman in college was a freshman in high school. We parents were sweating in a poorly insulated upstairs classroom and the history teacher mentioned how it was difficult for students to concentrate whenever the weather was a bit warm or cold. Then I visited the makeshift lab for my son's science class; I thought it looked more like a storage area than a lab. But learning has taken place in environments much more run down than we face here in Brookfield.

Lots of information is out there on all the pros and cons of remodeling our high schools, but having the time to study it all is a challenge. Brookfield resident Laura Schmidt has summed up the issue in terms that convince me why voting Yes is the right thing to do.

Here's Laura's look at the issue.

IT’S TIME TO BRING CLOSURE TO THE 10 YEAR OLD HIGH SCHOOL ISSUE

The high school issue is in fact a decade old. It is part of a long-term facilities plan that was developed in 1997. It is an amazing thing that the district has been able to keep us at the top of the list of benchmark schools for as long as they have. For this, most residents are thankful.

But the tide has turned. New families evaluating school districts stop in but don't come back. I know that is surprising for some, but it is a reality all the same. Having SUPERIOR schools is central to the city’s vision to remain the housing location of choice in the region. The current high school renovation plans are the culmination of 10 years of study by the school board, citizen committees, and hundreds of interested residents.

We are a community of 40,000 people with many diverse perspectives on how best to approach this project. Even those that have been most publicly outspoken and adamant in their opposition to the renovation plan have indicated that they realize there is significant investment needed at the high schools. The question, of course, is how much? The price tag is not going to get any cheaper. Referendum history in other communities show us that those communities who wait end up getting less for more money.

I support this plan because the cost of addressing minimum needs has already risen to a significant level. The difference between the minimum and the current plan is the difference between our high schools remaining structurally functional in the short term and transforming them in a manner that will serve our community's needs for the next fifty years. THIS plan also allows us a safe and effective transition plan for those students who will be in school during the renovation.

NOW is the time to pass THIS proposal. It simply does not make sense to continue studying the same issue and the same alternatives that have not received support in the past while students are left at risk and costs continue to rise. Join me in voting YES to support Elmbrook's High Schools on April 3rd.

Yesterday I learned that our beloved pediatrician Catherine Slota-Varma of Brookfield lost her long fight with cancer on Monday. I’m sharing this with you because her life mattered not just to her patients and their families, but to all of us.

My son Adam and I were at Children’s Hospital yesterday, seeing a specialist Dr. Slota-Varma had recommended. A great benefit of being her patient was knowing that she would make sure your child received the attention and care they needed. The specialist asked, “I’m just curious, why would someone living in Brookfield drive all the way to the East Side of Milwaukee to see a doctor.”

In the nearly 20 years she was my children’s doctor, I’ve learned that she was well worth the drive.

That Dr. Slota-Varma was our pediatrician was a matter of luck. I was a graduate student at Marquette when my first born son Ali was born on Jan. 5, 19 years ago. My husband and I didn’t know any pediatricians. The morning after his birth, Dr. Slota (as she was then) popped in to let me know that Ali passed his newborn check with flying colors. Her cheerful nature and geniune interest in her new patient was evident then and never waivered. Last spring she stopped by our home to congratulate Ali on his high school graduation. I don’t know if I ever told her how very special that was to us.

Through the years she cared for my children, I learned she would fight for us – when our insurance resisted sending a child to a specialist and she picked up the phone to explain why it was medically necessary, when she took time from her busy schedule to call me with comfort, encouragement and advice I could trust, and when I saw in the paper that she was fighting the good fight for all our children in government arenas.

In May of 2005, I called Dr. Slota-Varma to ask if I could interview her about how parents of newborns should choose a pediatrician. Sure, if we could do the interview in Brookfield, she said. Chemotherapy had her too weak to go into the office. We don’t have to do this now, I told her. Yes we do. It’s important, she replied.

“All patients want a doctor who is competent and empathetic, that’s a given,” she said that morning in the Bear Claw Café. “I really think part of the mission of a good physician is to be an actor in the local, state and national issues that affect their patients. An important part of our job as physicians is to be an advocate for our patients.”

That’s why her death is a loss to us all. She was a doctor who continually educated herself and used her knowledge to seek the best medical policies for all children. She generously gave of her time to teach residents and mentor young physicians. She bravely took bold positions in interviews with journalists. She poured herself into fighting for our children whereever the battle lines were drawn.

The founding partner of Shoreview Pediatrics has a long list of honors and credientials, including Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Associate Clinical Professor of the Medical College of Wisconsin, former chief of staff of Children’s Hospital and former president of the Medical Society of Milwaukee County. She was named by Milwaukee Magazine as one of greater Milwaukee’s top doctors and is listed in Who’s Who Among Midwest Physicians.

Dr. Slota-Varma made time to address the big issues because she knew health care policy matters to each of her patients. She cared for at least hundreds of patients and their appreciative parents over her more than 25 years in clinical practice. And all this time, it felt as if my children were her only patients.

*Funeral services for Dr. Slota-Varma will be held at 2 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 10, at St. John Vianney Catholic Church, 1755 N. Calhoun Rd.

My friend Dorothy and I have spent a few years in quest of the wow haircut. We've been to everyone from the corner barber to ritzy spa coiffeurs. We've finally found the stylist with the magic touch. After my first appointment with her, I had a new experience - compliments on my hair!

In an inconspicuous shop right on Capitol Drive, our dream stylist shapes the locks of news anchors, fashions fancy wedding dos for the well heeled and keeps a filled appointment book - all without developing an inflated ego. She's down to earth and always glad to see you. Time spent in her salon feels more like a high school reunion that a haircut.

The icing on the cake, the price is right. I can sport a stylish haircut without depriving my kids of a college education.

As you may be able to tell by now, I'm reluctant to share the name. In fact, I've been holding out on you for quite a while, afraid that once the word was out, I wouldn't be able to get in to see her. But the point of having this blog is to share news about Brookfield. And one key piece of information I want to know about the place I live is where to get a good haircut. So here it is: Lynn & Company on Capitol Drive, near Lilly Road. I see Lynn, but hear raves on the entire staff.

Okay, I shared. Now it is your turn. Please email your best finds in Brookfield and I'll share your neighborly tips with others through this blog. Meanwhile, see you at Lynn's!

I learned to how to shop on Black Friday at Brookfield Square.

At 5:45 am, I drove into the almost full parking lot, feeling like a sucker. The way I saw it, I had been manipulated by "doorbusters" and "Early Bird Specials" to join the ranks of thousands who give up the opportunity to relax with family on a rare day off for the whole gang. Instead of lounging around the house with a cup of coffee and leftover pumpkin pie, I would soon hustle and bustle after an elusive limited item that would go to someone who had camped outside overnight. No rainchecks. Only while supplies last.

I've made it a point to avoid the madness of the annual Friday-after-Thanksgiving sale. I'm not one of the protesters who actually does make a point, who boycotts the sale as a statement against materialism and crase commercialism. I admire them for it, but for me it is not so clear cut. I enjoy at good Yellow Tag Special at Boston Store or JC Penny's Mega-Sales. Yet I often leave them carrying bags that are a bit too heavy and knowing that I took the bait.

This year Boston Store dangled a doorbuster before me that was right from the top of my daughter Aisha's Christmas list. So I was out before dawn.

As the sun began to rise over Brookfield Square, I reluctantly trapsed into the stream of consumers, feeling like a fish on a line. I went straight to the sales clerk to ask the location of the doorbuster. Upstairs. I found the item on a shelf still half full. Mission accomplished, I began to look around. That's how they get you, I thought to myself. I could leave now, free and clear.

Then I saw my friend Patty and two of her daughters getting a headstart on Christmas shopping. Our neighbor and friend, Cathy D., school volunteer extraordinaire, was browsing with a friend. I noticed other mother-daughter teams and pairs of friends, holding up mittens and purses, sharing opinions of them. I heard a woman greeting friends she apparently hadn't seen for a while. Hugs all around.

These women know how to shop. They weren't frantically flopping like fish pulled in; they were enjoying the moment.

I relaxed. Rather than rush out of the store, I took a wrap off a hanger, draped it over my shoulders and looked in a mirror. "That looks great," a woman said to me. "Doesn't it?" she asked her teenaged daughter. "Yes, where did you find it?" I took my new shopping buddies to the rack, then got in line at the checkout counter with my $10 off coupon and the already discounted wrap.

Later in the day, I called Reem, a tall, beautiful friend whose wrap I had long admired. I got her voicemail and left this message: "I was at the mall this morning and I finally got a wrap. I thought of you and I'm just calling to tell you so."

Now that's a bright Black Friday - treating oneself, but not too extravagantly, and enjoying the moment.

As my 15-year-old daughter and I drove up to the Brookfield East bonfire Wednesday night, I was struck by the image before us. I saw the mound of burning wood in an empty space on the southeast corner of the school grounds. Where were the kids, teachers and parents that had circled the fire when my oldest son attended the big event?

As we got closer, I spotted them. It looked like the Brookfield East students were corralled in a pen at a safe distance from the flames. Adults (teachers or parent volunteers, I assume) checked student IDs at the gate.

A sense of loss hit me, followed by a wave of gratitude. I longed for the scene of years past, when a homecoming bonfire was a community event that crackled with the excitement of standing before a tower of flames. Teachers, parents, students, younger siblings and neighbors could all join in.

There are good reasons why school events today need tighter controls. The recent shooting of a Wisconsin principal and tragic killings in the Amish school in Pennslyvania and the thwarted plot of a Columbine-like massacre in Green Bay make the threat of danger fresh in our minds.

How hard it must be to be a school administrator faced with the decisions about what events to host and how. The easiest thing for them would be to just forget about hosting school-wide events of any kind. How grateful I feel to them for finding ways to allow our children to experience the fun that has always been part of high school, while taking their responsibility to keep our children safe seriously.

As the parent of talkative teens, I like to think they share everything with me. They don't. How do I know? I think back on my own teenage years to remember all the things my own parents didn't hear about.

I'm grateful to Elmbrook's Parent Network for taking on the mission of keeping parents informed about issues our children face and sharing resources with us to help us with parenting today. Parent Network welcomes parent volunteers from every school in the district to join in the quest of being better parents. These representatives scout out the issues impacting our kids by talking with teachers, guidance counselors and other experts. Then they gather resources for parents. They put on programs, like the two that took place yesterday (one for parents of elementary-school-aged children and one for parents of secondary-school-aged children).

Last night, I joined about 55 parents who gathered in the Brookfield Central High School Library to learn from a clinical psychologist, educator and guidance counselors about the challenges our teens face. I learned what to look for to recognize depression, drug use and anxiety in my children and some ways of helping them with these issues.

One great tip: When children are sad or mad about something, they lose perspective and don't see an end to their misery. Parents can remind them that the sadness is like a wave. It hits us and may knock us down, but it will pass and we will stand up again.

So watch for the bright orange signs and flyers at your child's school that announce Parent Network events and resources. Check out Parent Network's link on the Elmbrook School District website. Join Parent Network as a school representative. Attend the educational sessions. I've found its one of the best ways to be a "Parent in the Know."

I think we all remember where we were when we heard. I was walking into Burleigh Elementary School with Adam in the morning before school started. I passed a father who was coming out of the school as I was going in. "A plane just hit the world trade center," he said, as he scurried past. Confused I walked in and heard Principal Bil Zahn's voice on the intercom system, telling teachers not have televisions on in the classrooms and something about being thoughtful in what they shared with students."

As I drove into Marquette University to teach a 9:30 am class, I listened to the radio news. It all seemed surreal. In class I discovered one of my students' mothers worked in the World Trade Center. The young lady asked to be excused. We cancelled class and several of us, students and professors, went down the hall to watch television news in a faculty room. Although I had never met most of the other people I found in the room that day, we felt a strong bond of being Americans, watching what we felt was a personal tragedy unfold.

My husband's experience of that day was very different from mine. I had phoned him from Burleigh. He was on his way to work, but he turned around, went home and turned on the news. He too felt shock, anger and sadness as the events of the day unfolded. But as an Arab American, he also felt self-conscious, concerned that by some of his fellow Americans, he would be viewed as on the other side of this tragedy.

To make matters worse, he, with another Arab Amercan friend, stopped in the afternoon to get gas at a station on the corner of Capitol and Imperial. A fear of a sudden rise in gas prices had motivated many to stop for gas and there was a long line. Aziz and his friend stepped out of the car and were talking - in Arabic. Another man yelled to them. "We don't want you here."

But when he got home, he heard a telephone message from a Brookfield family that we were just getting to know. They wanted us to know that they realized we, being an Arab American family, would have unique challenges on Sept. 11 and afterward, and that we were always welcomed in their home. (Thank you, Mike and Deb.)

A week later, Aziz and the man who had confronted him at the gas station both found themselves on the same soccer practice field watching their sons practice. They made eye contact, but neither spoke. A few minutes later the man came over to Aziz and apologized for his harsh words. Aziz accepted his apology, acknowledging that it was natural for emotions to run high on Sept. 11. He understood because he too felt outraged at the cruel attack on so many innocent people. He understood because too he is an American whose country was under attack.