Home-based group discussions of the issues that shape our lives should be taking place everywhere in this nation, and on a regular basis. The Sunday Soup and Salad Salon has been meeting once a month for four years, and whether I agree or disagree with the ideas expressed, they force my thoughts to travel in unexpected directions.
About forty people showed up at our post-election salon. Everyone was relieved that the election wasn’t stolen, was euphoric, optimistic, reveled in the sense of solidarity with each other and with the rest of the country. And most believed in Obama’s good intentions. Yet there also was skepticism, “I know you don’t want to hear this, but....” And there were those who wondered, with such a deep divide, how do we heal? Then there’s the question: what next? The base is expanded, energized, excited, expectant, where do we go from here?
An African-American woman noticed an unaccustomed deference from a clerk, and that’s what I was thinking most about afterwards. Especially when a friend said to me that deference, but for all the wrong reasons, is creepy.
Is it? What are right reasons? I suspect most human interactions are plagued by so-called wrong reasons, by hidden agendas, even by agendas hidden from those who’ve written them. People often don’t recognize the “real” reason for their actions. Even the more self-analytical specimens of our species fall short.
Is it creepy if a latent, or even a blatant, racist looks at an African-American with more respect because a black man is our president-elect? Perhaps that racist will begin to realize that we’re all just human beings. What starts as a wrong reason could ultimately become a trigger for positive behavior.
And perhaps the flipside of this is true: perhaps the clerk didn’t treat her with more deference, perhaps she was simply feeling more self-confidence, feeling that more possibilities have opened up. Perhaps she was feeling more pride in being black.
