359 Degrees

I'm relaxing after a tough couple of weeks dealing with the city budget and received an email with the following puns.  I hope you enjoy them.

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 
9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 
10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 
11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head." 
12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 
13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet." 
14. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 
15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 
16. A backward poet writes inverse. 
17. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.